Benami- from the lyrics of “The Wisdom of a dream”
We spoke last time about the Or Ain Sof (infinite light) being constricted and returning into itself to leave the makom panoy (dark space) as a palate for existence. We see this every time there is the development of a new world when we’re speaking kabbalistically or in the development of new levels of maturity when we’re speaking about ourselves. There is a flash of light and then the light recedes to leave a dark space as a palate for growth. Let’s explain the reason technically and then try to understand its application to our own personal growth.
Why would a flash of light be emitted just to then recede afterwards?
Darkness only exists in contrast to light. There can be no darkness without there first having been light there. It’s like the expansion of the universe. Space is being created that didn’t exist before, we too are expanding into a new space that never existed when we develop as individuals. We don’t have the ability to imagine what we have the potential to become; sort of. Another reason why there must be a flash of light that recedes afterward is that we get a flash of what we can become before we enter the darkness. It’s like a child who wants to become a doctor. Why do they want to become a doctor? Most likely it’s because they met a doctor and thought “I want to be like that.” Not because they saw all the work that it will take to become a doctor and desired to go through that rigorous process. It’s a flash of inspiration that can carry us through the darkness and also becomes a map for our growth. It’s like being in a dark room and wanting to get to a door on the other side. There is a flash of light so you can begin to get directed and then it’s dark again.
Phosphors are a substance that retain light and then glow in the dark. That’s why white materials glow brightly in black light. We too have to express our gratitude when the lights are bright and take a snapshot of the good times to fuel us through the darkness.
When this first light bursts forth we have an expression from The Infinite, which means that The Infinite is already expanding, so to speak to begin forming the earliest makeup of our universe. This expansion is described by the first letter; yud of the four letter name of The Creator. The yud represents the information or the seed that will become the gift of life. The yud has a gematria of 10 and represents the seed of all ten sefiros (expressions) that are going to follow. The Heh represents the planning and flushing out of the idea into a structured plan. Heh is gematria 5 and and represents the hand that gives us the gift of life. The vav is the next 6 sefiros which are the outstretched arm delivering the gift of life through a process of building the world and everything in it. It’s also like the 6 sides of a cube which is our space to actualize our potential. The final Heh represents the final sefirah of Malchus and is also gematria 5 which represents the hand that receives the gift of life. That’s our choice and participation in the process of connecting worlds and building a divine relationship. That’s the center point to the cube that we mentioned. It’s the deep and internal purpose of life that is central to the structure of all existence.
When the light expands out of The Infinite it is becoming more defined, so to speak in its expression. Yet let’s remember that it is still nonetheless infinite light and remains at its core infinite. Just like we are an expression of a soul that’s rooted in the infinite, we are at the same time a body with a limited perception. The infinite aspect of the light returns to it’s source in The Infinite, leaving behind a dark space, but also a residue of light so to speak, which was left behind to become the most descript expression of that light in the formation of vessels. It’s like a person contains within them the ability to have children. The children will be an extension of their parents, so to speak, because they are made from their DNA, but they will also be an independent entity. The light recedes very much like a parent steps back to allow the child some space to learn how to stand on their own. The child is now the most expressive and compressed element of the parent. It is the most physical and undeveloped expression of a grown person with complete potential and room for growth. When we see that flash of inspiration that points us in the direction we should explore in life it is an expansion of The Infinite reaching to us and communicating with us about how we can grow in our lives. The inspiration recedes back into The Infinite and we then begin the process of hard work to try and grasp what we tasted in that moment of inspiration.
We now have the residue of the original light that went back up which is a light of rachamim (mercy) and then a second expression of light which is at a much lower intensity. This second light also recedes back to the infinite producing the Or hadin (the light of judgment or boundaries). Just like a parent communicates to a child by giving them something it also communicates by taking something away. Either way its a message from the same source, the expression is just as much a revelation of the will of the parent. The light of the original residue and the light of din come together or crash into each other and this creates the birth of a new light called Nitzotzos (sparks).
So here’s our process; the child wants to become a doctor because of an original inspiration of seeing the doctor. The light is removed so to speak, because the child must embark on a journey to actually become the doctor, but a memory or residue remains and will provide a key ingredient to the child’s success. Now the child begins it’s study and there is a considerable amount of encouragement, talent and recources given to the child to grow and advance, but it is a greatly reduced amount of light to allow the child to be a part of the process. The child becomes a doctor and now the ease of being in school (a sheltered environment) is removed and the child must perform surgery and make tough calls, maybe lose some lives along the way. The strength that’s produced by this process is the Or hadin. Now the memory of that doctor who was the original inspiration returns to the mind of the young doctor, like Obi-Wan-Kenobi the visiting hologram strengthens Luke in his fight against the dark side. In our case the dark side is the Or hadin and it is all from one holy source of course. The challenge and the inspiration collide together to give birth to the ultimate finished product; a well balanced doctor who is now ready to embark on the next journey; inspiring the next generation.